parents.

tl;dr
“parents were the only ones obligated to love you…” .it’s true.

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Since i’m asian with (somewhat) stereotypical asian immigrant parents, you can bet they had something to say.

dad meme.jpg

To be honest, their reaction wasn’t as extreme as i expected. None of the “you’re just lazy” crap and the “you’re just not trying enough” bullshit💩. I first told them about it in winter of 2016. I was feeling really sad and anxious for some reason and just needed to talk to someone about it and my parents seemed to be qualified candidates for the job. I told them about how i’ve been reading a lot about ADHD and that i feel like i might have it and they were just like “oh shit- another disabled child in our family? fuck…😓” (they didn’t say that). They were really warm and said that i should go through with the proper way of diagnosing it so we went to walk-ins, got set up with a psychiatrist and the rest is history.

I’m not sure if it’s an asian culture thing, but my parents hate pills. They don’t like taking prescribed medication and would rather fix the issue au naturel💁🏻 if that is an option. After the few months of being prescribed, my parents said that i should work towards getting off the medication as soon as possible. Well fuck. Just when i start getting used to this very helpful medication that makes the quality of my life better, they suggest i should get rid of it from my life ASAP. I don’t really drag this topic on with them because at the end of the day, they will always be right (in their minds) but I do bring it up the next time i see my psychiatrist.

He told me (paraphrased):

Sure once some time passes and you realize you are no longer in need of the medication, you can lose it. But, that shouldn’t be the goal set in your mind. The medication is safe and there to help you live normally and happily. And if you still need it when you’re 60, that’s totally fine too.

Anyways, back to my parents. Once everything was sorted out and i got diagnosed, it sort of felt like they were apologetic to me for how they treated me regarding the little things that they always got mad at me about, the small mistakes i’d make on quizzes and tests, etc. But i don’t blame them- they didn’t know about ADHD (well, they’ve heard about it but didn’t know too much about it) and it would be frustrating if you have to tell a little kid to do something repeatedly and if your little baby is getting the easiest questions wrong on a test. However, after that initial talk, they treat me the same, love me the same, everything is the same. And that’s not a bad thing- it’s good because i don’t want to be known as “their son with a disability”. Not that i’m embarrassed, but the adhd isn’t the only thing about me and shouldn’t define who i am (and i don’t like being pitied). I am still just their son👶🏻.

Moral of the story: don’t be scared to talk to your parents. Worst thing that could happen is getting hit by a bamboo stick.🎋

 

2 thoughts on “parents.”

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