psychiatrist.

Before i first met my psychiatrist, i read online about the terrible experiences that people had  and how it was one of their “biggest mistakes of their life.” With that confidence boost, i went into it with a pretty pessimistic view. With low expectations, you have basically nothing to lose- the appointment is free (Canada #1..!!), you may come out with a diagnosis and have an explanation for how you’ve felt your entire life or you just get shit on by a trained medical professional. 

So i go to my appointment and his office has a pretty therapist-y vibe with me being seated at a couch and…well- i guess that’s the only reason. He asks me generic questions about attention and hyperactivity, family, social life, etc. for about an hour. Once that was all done, he gave me some surveys to fill out with a bunch of scenarios and tells me to fill it out with my parents and to bring my report cards from my younger days.

I have my next appointment in like a month or a few weeks (super packed schedules😤 ) and bring him all the stuff that he asked for. He goes through my surveys and we talk again for an hour-ish about those surveys and just more personal life stuff. At the end of the appointment, he tells me he is almost certain i have ADHD from the past appointments and surveys.

I wasn’t really sure how to feel- happy🎉 that i now have a reason for a bunch of shit that i deal with?  Sad because now I am mentally disabled♿ ? Fuck. I don’t know. But he tells me that he would prescribe me to 10 or 20mg of vyvanse💊 (lowest dose available). I try it out for the month. It was cool. Didn’t really have much effect on me I don’t think and my next appointment was coming up about a month before finals. Hopefully he can raise the dose for me so that the medication actually has some positive effect on me?

But me being the intelligent fellow that i am, decide to get fully wasted the night before my 9am appointment. So of course, i miss my appointment. I actually completely forgot about it until a week later when I got an email saying that I have to reschedule and I owe a juicy $80💸 for cancelling without notice. So i reschedule it right in the middle of my exams. This time, i remembered to go- but like 30minutes late. Have to reschedule AGAIN, but i didn’t have to pay a penalty this time🙏 .

So now it is the summer and i finally met him and he raised my prescription to 30mg (the normal starting dosage for vyvanse), and this is definitely better. This shit isn’t a super drug😈 that makes you limitless and whatever. It is just a catalyst for you to reach that point (just kidding). Honestly, it just helps me leave random thoughts to the side when i want to focus on something and that is what it is meant to do.

So back to the point of my psychiatrist- i was skeptical about him, scared of judgement, scared what he would think of me… kinda reminds me of my teen years. But after meeting him, he is such a nice and resourceful guy that provides great advice. I guess the moral of the story is: there are so many psychiatrists, doctors, etc. in the world and you can’t just assume that your experience will be like that of someone who had a bad one. If you feel something troubling you heavily, don’t be scared to speak to a trained professional. Who knows- it might be the best “mistake” of your life😁.